


Like To Be Seen

by idektvshows



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 02:19:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16296401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idektvshows/pseuds/idektvshows
Summary: Julia likes to be seen, so she is.





	Like To Be Seen

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Things were undeniably different now, the passion fuelled affair they embarked on which came as a direct result from the trauma of the shooting whilst he was her PPO, had ceased to exist, and it was as if nothing had occurred. In the aftermath of those arrested for Julia's death - David thus grew closer to Vicky (for his kids sake, if nothing else) and believing he was finally on track after being railroaded for so long. He was doing well having started therapy and counselling for his PTSD and anger, he genuinely thought that now was the time he could begin to move on, without feeling guilty or full of regret until he found himself with one huge decision to make.

It all started, well at the beginning really, but a little voice in the back of his head reminded him that Chanel was right, Julia did like to be seen, hence why she was brazen enough to stand right in front of him at the door to his flat.

“David” she sighed relief although she looked desperately sorry but hopeful to see him well and together. She gave him a long overdue soft smile.

David didn’t know what to do; he had grieved for her - he spent weeks feeling guilty with her death on his conscience, weeks twisting himself around in circles, weeks being uncertain, infuriated, feeling like he had failed. He was on a good path at counselling dealing with all his problems and he was so close to being cleared for active duty and no longer having to suffer the insufferable desk duty. Despite it all, his first instinct was to pull her in close, hold her and never let go, but he knew he’d tumble back and into dangerous and uncharted territory which meant in simple terms - he'd have to start all over again, so he purposely, going against his natural instincts, kept her at a painful, arms length.

“May I -?” she wavered in trepidation, looking beyond him, asking him for entry into the flat.

He didn’t speak, he looked at her, his eyes not giving anything away which annoyed her beyond belief. He nodded nonchalantly, accepting her request and opened the door for her to slip on past him. She glanced at him as she stepped past him, admiring his physique as he was wearing just a plain vest with jeans.

He felt alienated and foreign by the entire situation, it was beyond anything he could comprehend in the realms of his mind. Here she was after nothing. 

“It’s good to see you well” she announced almost nervously but so generically, turning on her heels, her own voice unsteady but offering a reassuring smile regardless as he walked past her and into the kitchen. He felt her gaze upon him as he turned, his hands resting on the edge of the surface.  She looked at him with sadness in her eyes, regret inscribed in the lines on her face.

“Uh-” he broke the awkward tension that had built up. He clearly absent-minded, covering the pain he felt, unable to meet her eyes, he placed his hand on the back of head and sighed, “It’s good to see you” he swallowed the contradictory he felt, finally being able to return the smile which was gone before it even begun.

The tension between them was palpable, it was painful, beyond awkward, she looked at him, wanting to bear all, wanting to reach out for him but she knew he was holding back and knew she had to resist and give him space. He looked like a scorned school child, unable to meet her gaze.

“I understand this isn’t how you expected to find out” she offered, an undertone of humour, her tone desolate as she placed her bag tentatively on the counter top opposite him. 

“I, er-” he stuttered and fell silent, “I didn’t expect to see you” he informed her in all honesty, meeting her gaze eventually. “I don’t know what you want me to say” he turned away from her, defeatist and exhaled.

“I want you to talk to me” she offered bluntly, feeling hurt by his lack of care. She took several steps towards him, she finally felt brave to stand beside him, looking at him.

“I want your honesty, David” she pointedly articulated, almost from over his shoulder. 

He hung his head, she closely watched him for a reaction, the intensity of her stare burning into his skin.

“I’m angry, I’m confused and I’m disappointed” he revealed through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.

She felt awful, her stomach turning in knots, she hated seeing him like this, how the hell was she going to make this right?? She felt like she'd buckle at how enraged he was but she exhaled and rested her hand out on the kitchen surface to steady herself.

“I wasn’t-” she paused, licking her lips, trying to select the most appropriate words, she turned so her back was facing the flat, “I wasn’t able to contact you. I was under the strictest of orders” she tried to justify.

He scoffed, shaking his head, he turned ninety degrees to meet her eyes, “I’m not mad or angry that vital information was held from me - I’m angry and disappointed that I found out you were alive through my boss. After everything we went through, after what you said-” he confessed bitterly, unable to finish the sentence that would either make or ultimately break them.

“I’m not going to lick your wounds, David” she firmly informed him, instantly regretting her response, she closed her eyes and allowed a few moments to compose herself.   
“I had to follow protocol - I wanted more than anything to tell you as soon as I could and do it personally, but I was overruled and that was that.” she defended herself sharply, resting her hand on her hip.

He chuckled, humorously at her quick and sharp yet professionalism justification which surprised her and cause the already tense and awkward atmosphere to become much more heightened. He thought thoroughly for a while, she looked at him, not missing a minuscule detail nor a beat, he glanced at her,

“What’s the real reason you’re here, Julia?”

She sighed, he truly could see straight through her. “I wanted to see you, see how you fared amongst this mess” she scoffed at how ludicrous she sounded.

“Well, see for yourself" he offered, opening his arms, gesturing sarcastically to her.

"David-" she hissed, his petty attitude getting on her nerves.

“I’m sorry?” he snapped, a seething chuckle, well he had to find an output for his anger somehow, “Please, do me a favour - just, for once in your life, tell me why you’re here - I need words, Julia, because I’m done trying to bust a gut in an attempt to read between the lines” he raised his voice, defensively.

She broke beneath him, feeling her emotions bubble, she sighed, her voice trembling, she shrugged, "Fine" she swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling herself become a bundle of nerves at what she was about to ask of him, "I want to know if we have a chance” she looked directly into his eyes, her vulnerability seeping through.

Julia Montague rarely wore her heart on her sleeve and here she was, doing just that. Looking anywhere but her, because he knew she'd be crushed, he looked straight ahead.

“I wish I had the answer you seek, but it's complicated" he huffed, hating to admit he had changed too. 

“I see” she nodded, clenching her jaw in an attempt not to burst because it was hard to hear the man she loved tell her he might not reciprocate the same feelings anymore - luckily years of practice, she had built a good stoic.

He looked at her regretfully and sadly, she refused to meet his eyes.

"Right then, thank you" she gave him a sad but tight smile and took her bag. "I should-” she slowly retreated from him unable to remain in his presence any longer. She wasn’t used to getting rejected and as she stepped back, David launched forward, stopping her and turning her around, looking at her desperately, he saw her utter devastation and brought her into his arms. She allowed herself to relax in his embrace, exhaling a shaky breathe knowing this was more than likely the last time - he pulled away, holding her head in his hands, he pressed their foreheads together, conveying how important he considered this, “I need time” he breathed heavily, unable to give her a confirmation but providing her with a beacon of hope.

“Ok” Julia barely whispered. He ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the feeling of her beneath his hands and treasured the moment. He moved his head, looking into her vulnerable but hopeful eyes.

“I hate the hold you have over me.” he exasperatedly murmured. “I hate how all I want to do is feel your body against mine, touch you, kiss you. I hate how I lose all my senses and my brain when I am in touching distance of you. I god damn hate it all” he shut his eyes as he allowed himself to feel.

"I-"

“Shut up” he interjected and in one swift and hurried movement he silenced her as he kissed her. His lips bruising hers at the sheer force behind it - she kissed him back instinctively, desperately, her arms wrapping around his neck automatically as she pulled relentlessly at him. He lifted her up and unceremoniously plonked her down on his counter top.

****

_"I have a proposition for you and I understand you need time to finalise your decision, but here me out"_   David thought about Julia's words as he laid in bed that night.

_"I am attending a dinner on Friday from 7pm with some friends and I want you to be my plus one. Car leaves my flat at 6:45pm_ " the way she informed him, didn't surprise him, she always had it figured out, always one step ahead.

_“If you decide not to attend, then I’ll know then won’t I?”_   he pondered her fleeting statement. How could she go from bearing all to being so chilled and unphased by something which could solidify their future together?

And then she was gone.

 

 *****

That week had been excruciating for Julia for many reasons, she had dealt with a lot of begrudged and angry people at the Home Office and on Friday amongst the animosity in the chambers and the home office, she spent the whole day fretting over him. Luckily, being at work was a blessing in disguise as she was able to distract and indulge herself and the prospect of what was coming next. Towards the end of the day, he become her full focus, she mulled over him and what his decision might have been - she felt foolish for allowing herself to get caught up in a love affair when there were more pressing matters to tend to - like trying to salvage the mess that occurred in the wake of her faked death.

She wasn't nervous about this dinner party, no, she couldn't care less.

Annoyingly, she found herself ready for the dinner within plenty of time and decided to open a bottle to ease her nerves as David once again was at the forefront of her thoughts. She brooded over the possibility that he might not choose her and instead fix things with the family he already had. She knew she needed to prepare in case he didn't turn up, but at that moment in time, the answers seemed pretty plausible to be in the bottle of wine she was staring at down the table.

Deep down, if he didn't arrive, she'd be devastated because after years of being alone, not including the minor flings she had, after years of sleeping with no feelings, she had met someone she grew to allow herself to fall in love with; he had shown her what it was like to have someone adoring her, giving her affection, allowing her to have her desires and to be a human. 

At 6:30pm she received an alert from Fenton - he was en route, she placed her phone back down onto the table counter and continued her glass of wine. She must have got caught up in her own thoughts about life and  _him_ because she was roused back to the ground by a gentle knock at her front door. Surprised to hear the door because usually Fenton would let himself in, she headed for the door. Looking through the peep hole, she was not prepared for what she saw. She froze. It was him. He was there, right in front of her door, waiting for her to open the door to a number of new possibilities.  

Allowing the sudden wave of happiness to wash over her, she found herself in a bit of a state, her heart rate plummeting, her smile evident, she bit her lip and she placed her hand against the wood of the door to steady herself. Feeling the butterflies come alive in her stomach, she shook her head, it was a metaphor, for shaking the nervousness she felt away because for the first time, the universe wasn't against her. She opened the door, her eyebrow quirked upon seeing him, she wasn't ready to give anything away.

His smile made her weak at the knees, his eyes ran all over her body, noticing what he recognised to be a  _little black dress._

“You look breath-taking” he confessed, choked up at the sight of her. Although his words hit her core, no one had told her that in such a long time, she exhaled, swallowing his words. He saw right through her, he saw her as a woman, as a human and not some robot like certain publications and people usually referred to her as.

“Isn’t this a surprise?” she coyly raised an eyebrow, dismissing but not ignoring his compliment. She subtly checked him out in return as he stepped closer to the door, she was intrigued and watched him in fascination.

“Aye” he agreed, “Good choice” he nodded, a cheeky and approving grin upon his face, his hand reaching for her waist.

“I like to be seen” she told him with a knowing look, tilting her head sideways as if to say  _enter_. He thought for a moment before nodding in agreement, "I know"

He entered her apartment slowly, his hand securely resting on her waist, “And believe me, you are” he confirmed as he wagged his eyebrows in admiration. She smiled and blushed for the first time in what felt like years as the door closed behind them. 


End file.
